Oh Wouldn't You Like to Be, My Neighbor

A week before I started my course I decided enough was enough of moving around between friend’s houses and parents of friend’s houses and finally went apartment hunting.  After spending many hours on various websites looking up apartments (in Hebrew, go me!) I compiled a list of apartments and phone numbers for the next day.  I wish I could explain in words how much I was dreading this “apartment hunting day” I had scheduled myself on my day off from the army.  In order to not pay for the public transportation I was going in uniform, it was hot, I knew it would be frustrating, from experience I assumed it would be quite unsuccessful, tiring, confusing, and anything else you can imagine.  To add to things I was doing it on my own because it so happened that none of my Israeli friends were around that day to help me, my sister was still in the states, and my other friends were working since it was in the middle of the week.  I figured if I ever made it to the point of signing a contract I had a few people to call up to sit with me so I didn’t mess up or get cheated/ripped off.

Before I left Tel Aviv in the morning to set out for my dreadful day I decided to check online one last time in the morning to see if anything else was posted.  Apartments are posted and rented daily here to the point where it doesn’t even make sense to look up apartments before the week you want to move, or in my case, the day you go looking.  I found an apartment listed not in the neighborhood my sister and I were looking but in our price range and size.  I decided to go to this apartment first in dire hope that it would sweep me off my feet and I wouldn’t have to lug myself all around the city in the heat and try to find all of these other apartments.  I showed up to this apartment, which, may I mention, was in an AMAZING location, and fell in love.  It was about 5 or 6 am Boston time but I was so giddy I couldn’t wait to call home and talk to Allie about it.  I talked to my mom for a while, biding time until it was reasonable to wake Allie, while I sat for a few minutes across the street from the apartment and watched 3 other people look at the apartment as well.  In the mean time I pretended like I was going in the direction of the other apartments to take a look at them too, because it’s not smart to take the first thing you see.  I finally woke Allie up and told her about the apartment, she agreed maybe I should check out the other ones too just in case but after about 10 minutes of trying to call the other apartments as well as figure out where they are we decided together to stop being idiots and to take the amazing first apartment we saw.  I called the realtor back immediately and said I was ready to sign.  I discussed and signed the contract all by myself and we had an apartment…just like that!

We live in a super cute apartment in an area of Jerusalem called Nachlaot.  Nachlaot is very much in the center of the city, an old, fairly religious neighborhood that turning to a more young, hip place to live as well.  The neighborhood is comprised of old windy street made of white Jerusalem stone and it is kind of like a little maze to walk around inside the neighborhood.  We have a convenience store, neighborhood bar, little coffee shop, and Gelateria right across the street.  This is on top of the 3 minute walk to the central Jerusalem market, a 5 minute walk to the center of the city and all the restaurants/bars/pubs there, and a 1 minute walk across the street to a huge, gorgeous park called Gan Sahker.  Oh, and a 10 minute walk or 2 minute bus ride to the central bus station.  Could it be a more perfect location? I think not.  Good find Lauren!

I’m barely ever home but Allie’s doing a great job slowly getting everything together in the apartment and when I’m home we capitalize on shopping for furniture and accessories for the apartment.

Beautifully Intertwined

I went to an apartment to buy a used microwave and they planned to meet me back at home to deliver it so I didn't have to carry it back.  I am crossing the street to wait to meet them at the corner of my street and two Americans from California ask me if I speak English and if I know how to get to the market.  I am explaining how to get to the market when my realtor crosses the street and we bump into each other and say "hi" and catch up for a minute (in Hebrew).  The couple delivers me the microwave as I continue talking to the two women from California about what I am doing in Israel and a short synopsis of how I got here/why I am here.  I carry the microwave back across the street while continuing to talk to them for another minute then enter my apartment, take off my IDF uniform, turn on American country music, and start the kumkum (hot water boiler) to make myself a cup of tea.  

This funny combination of buying used appliances, finding a way to get them delivered, always seeing someone you know, giving directions in English, and explaining what the heck I'm doing living here couldn't be a better example of my life. 

What a perfectly complex yet beautifully intertwined and just a bit confusing life I am living.  :) 

I'm Alive!

Still there?

So it’s been over two months since I last updated…oops.  It is a perfect example of how the past two months have flown by, however, and I really struggled to keep in touch (as if I don’t struggle enough with that regularly). 

So since I last wrote I started…and finished…my training course for my job in the army.  It was a 6 week course from the end of October until December 1^st.  I did what is called 12-2 meaning I was on base for 12 days and came home for two (every other Shabbat at home).  That is probably the main reason why time flew by so quickly.  I was back to the rules like basic training where I could only use my phone during meal breaks and during my hour before bed where I had to shower and get ready for the next day.  I’ll split the course into thirds to explain how it went.

The first few days/two weeks were really difficult for me.  We spent the entire day, 7/8am until 8/9pm in a classroom learning about the system of the army and then how it all relates to our job.  There was so much army terminology that I didn’t understand that it made it really hard for me to follow the lessons the first couple days.  I, unlike many of the Israelis, didn’t grow up in a society were everyone goes to the army, and these terms were not common language for me.  Not to mention that I didn’t and still don’t have any idea what most of the words are in English (again, because I didn’t grow up with army terminology in my lexicon).  The best part of all the new vocab is that you have to remember every word twice, because no one uses the full words in the army.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is in abbreviations and acronyms (like NASA).  I was a bit stressed the first few weeks, especially because of the weekly tests, which were really difficult for me.  It was not enough to sit in the lessons, understand the Hebrew, simultaneously take notes in Hebrew, and review during every break, I had to then understand what the heck they were asking me on the test and then figure out how to get the answer out in some relatively comprehendible style of Hebrew.  Test scores week 1: 45, 48 corrected to 63, and a 65.  Did I mention an 80 is passing?

The next two weeks of the course were more fun and less stressful.  I had gotten the hang of how to get the most out of the lessons, I asked more questions, and we had trips around the country which helped with the “out of the classroom” more hands on type learning.  Test scores week 2: 68, 76…movin on up!

The last two weeks were a lot more fun with many more out of the classroom activities, trips, general knowledge learning, etc.  We broke up into our specific positions, either Liaison (me) or International Military Partnership Activity (yea, I just translated that directly, sorry).  The former dealing with the countries on Israel’s border; Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, and Egypt (holla!), and the latter dealing with all the other countries in the world that Israel talks to including Europe, Africa, Asia, North and South America, you name it.  I spent even more effort on hanging out with friends and having a good time the last two weeks than I did the previous month and it seems like it paid off; test scores week 3: 81, 84…hell yeah!  I don’t know what I got on my final test because I never got it back (shows you how much the scores actually matter) but my final grade for the course overall was 90.  The final grade includes the tests, simulations, the half hour presentation I did on Iraq, my job of managing our supplies for a week, and then things like effort, relationships, ability to work with others, how we deal with the system of the army and the course specifically, etc.  From a 45 to a 90 in just 6 weeks…not too shabby ;)

I’m going to wrap it up and I’ll post again soon.  We had our ceremony on November 30^th (Shout out to my best friend Jen’s 24^th birthday that was the same day!) and my sister, Eli, Daniel, and mahhm Deborah all came to support me.  Sidenote: Mahhm brought me turkey and absolutely delicious pie (both pecan AND pumpkin) from Thanksgiving since I was on base and missed it, big Mahhm points right there.  Anyway, it was great to meet everyone’s family since I had known some of the people for 4 ½ months already (since basic training) and felt like I knew so much about their lives and their family/friends.  We got certificates and pins to put on our uniforms, my commander gave me his pin off his uniform instead of a new one, he was the best. 

We got our assignments the next day…I’m a liaison to Egypt! More on that to come…

P.S. I have pics but my internet is in the process of getting fixed so they will be uploaded this weekend.

Let Go of Preconceived Notions

I had the most amazing yet simple experience today that hopefully will change my life, here's the story..

I got out of the army at 1:15 today because our lessons ended early, it is my second to last day on this base before my vacation for the Sukkot holiday and then my course starts.  I am trying to figure out the best way to move all of my stuff to Jerusalem in a very short period of time from multiple places around the country before the holiday starts.  I wanted to best take advantage of my day but when I realized there is nothing I could do moving wise this afternoon I decided to go outside to read.  It was very warm today, about 95 or so, and I could have walked down to the beach but I opted to walk across the street to a park to sit and finish my book.  I was okay with the decision because I feel I take advantage of the beach often enough since I go swimming one morning a week before the army and I run there about 4 times a week in the evening.  If you know me you know I can't resist a bit of tanning so I wore my bathing suit top while sitting on my towel and reading.

A guy about my age comes up to me and says hello.  I respond in a typical-me way when a random guy approaches me, especially when I am half in my bathing suit; I standoffishly reply back "hi"while barely looking at him, showing that I am not much interested in conversation as I am busy replying to a WhatsApp and reading (simultaneously, go me).  He continues to open up the conversation with questioning me about whether I felt weird sitting in a park in my bathing suit tanning or if it were pretty common here (he's from Jerusalem, we're in Tel Aviv, people are generally more conservative there).  He said he knows it is a bit bizarre to walk up to a girl while she is tanning and say hi but he was curious why I chose to do it in the park and not at the beach, and he wanted to ask me for his own general knowledge. You know, I don't really remember what else he said (plus it was in Hebrew and I was only half paying attention still) but it was something along the lines of he normally wouldn't go up and talk to someone in the situation but he wanted to, in a sense, push himself to step outside his boundaries and talk/question me.  I responded by saying that I am also not really from here, I am American and staying at a friends across the street.  I don't usually "tan" in the park but I didn't feel like walking down to the beach (lame excuse, i know) but wanted to enjoy the sun.  He then begins to ask me what I'm doing here as an American and I finally start to warm up a bit.  I tell him a bit of my story.  He correctly guesses my age and that I have a degree already, we talk a bit about psychology (when people ask me what my degree is in I respond "psychology and sociology" it's the most accurate answer I have formulated since no one, even english speakers, know what the hell Human Development is).  He tells me he's really interested in psychology and helping people but doesn't really know how to go forward with that interest in the future, yet.  He tells me a bit about what he did in the army (it was a sort of teacher for soldiers, I was looking into it before I came up with the idea of joining foreign relations).  He notices that I am reading The Happiness Project and we talk a bit about happiness, what is it, how it is a consistent, life-long effort, etc.  He tells me he started practicing meditation and zen and we talk about these things for a bit longer.  He decides it is time to go since his grandfather's fish that he bought was getting warm, we say our parting words, I thanked him for coming up to talk to me and he thanked me as well for being open to talking to him, we exchanged names, and Gavriel was on his way.

Although our conversation about meditation and zen was really eye-opening and peaked my interest in looking into the two things for myself, the reason this meeting hopefully changed my life has nothing to do with the context of our actual conversation and everything to do with the fact that we HAD a conversation.  I am not someone who is opposed to meeting strangers, or new people, but I must admit I can see that I am more reserved here, as I am not so confident in my ability to have a full conversation with someone, depending on the topic, because of my Hebrew level.  I am also typically hesitant to talk to guys who approach me when I am alone, particularly alone in a bathing suit at the park.  Anyway, the point is he DID come up to me and we DID have a conversation and it DID entirely change my idea of "talking to strangers."  We both admitted that we were so glad we talked to one another because it totally changed our preconceived notions of the other.  He openly told me that he did not think that a girl who was tanning in the park had any depth to her and he was pleasantly surprised to see how much I had (thanks!) and I admitted that I am very hesitant to talk random guys but I am so glad I opened up and didn't brush him off.  We didn't exchange numbers and I will probably never see him again (well, then again, Israel is a small country, you never know) but I will always remember this little encounter.

Let go of preconceived notions that constantly guide our behavior, you have no idea what great experiences you are missing out on. Another reminder of how important it is not to judge people.

Ignorance WAS Bliss

The time has come to write a bit about the frustrations of language barrier, since it affects me everyday and it is for sure the biggest hurdle to moving here.

Before I came to Israel for the first time to study abroad, I didn't realize: A. how truly important language is and how much it influences and infiltrates every aspect of every part of life, or B. how much the language tells about the people that speak it.  Don't get me wrong, both of these points are very interesting in their own right, but the former is also quite frustrating at times.

Hebrew is an amazing language for many reasons.  First, the roots of the language date back so far and are intertwined with the Jewish people and the land here.  Modern Hebrew is not the same language that was used thousands of years ago, just as we do not speak English like Shakespeare anymore.  The roots of many of the words, however, are the same.  Hebrew is a root language, most words deriving from a 3 letter root and therefore the verb, noun, adjective and often times other things that are related to this word are spelled very similarly, following a variety of patterns.  For this reason, I think Hebrew is a pretty easy language to learn, comparatively, although to master a second language when you're in your 20's is never easy, no matter the language.  Because modern Hebrew has a lot of very new aspects to the language it does a great job of representing the Israeli's, the people that speak the language.  Sentences are short and to the point, just as Israeli's are.  There is no beating around the bush or sugar coating anything, in language or in attitude.  There are many phrases that describe the type of people Israeli's are, such as "l'asot chaim" which is like saying "have fun" but is literally saying, "make life," and "titchadesh" which you say when someone buys or has something knew and you want them to use it well/enjoy/etc.  There are many more phrases that I can't think of right now, too.

Moving on the the barrier part-When I was studying here my Hebrew was obviously at a much lower level.  Although I understood a bit and could speak a bit less, I missed a lot if a conversation was in Hebrew around me.  Since I still hang out with one of the groups of Israeli friends that I hung out with then it is easy for me to compare the differences.  What I realize then is that I did not even understand enough to notice how much of the conversation, and therefore the personalities of the people, that I was missing.  The Catch-22 is now that I understand much more, I know exactly when I am missing out.  It's like the more you learn the more you realize there is to learn.  I know exactly when a conversation turns to a topic where I don't understand the vocabulary, or the most obvious two times...when we're at a bar or club and I miss (so many) things because it's really hard to hear, or when there is a big group (usually 5+ or so) of people and many people talk at once.  These are the two hardest situations I find myself in now.  I flip back and forth between being extremely frustrated and feeling like I will never master the language, and realizing how far I have come and feeling positive about moving forward.  For example, conversations that use army vocabulary I understand almost entirely now whereas 2 months ago I was probably lost at the first army-specific abbreviation word used.  The problem I have now is that I know that I still do not know my Israeli friends entirely as they are because of my language barrier.  Times when, in English, I would overhear a snide comment they make, or a really nice comment they make, or an opinion, a joke or a complaint, I sometimes just do not hear, and therefore I miss a little bit about their personality/themselves.  In the 1 on 1 relationships I have I feel that I know and understand the person but there is also a huge aspect of a person that is shown when they are in groups of people, whether it be friends, family, etc.  To know someone on a general level is not difficult, but it's the people I've known for years, and our relationship is deeper than a general friendship, where I realize I have difficulty truly, truly knowing the whole person.  I really do feel, sometimes, that I'm missing out on some awesome aspects of some of my friends, and it makes me sad, and frustrated.

From the other perspective, I am also not the same person in Hebrew and in English.  If you know me then you know that I am an opinionated, outgoing, energetic, inquisitive person and I am certainly not one to sit quietly in a room of friends or even at a family dinner.  In Hebrew, however, if it is a decent sized group of people then I find it very difficult to be myself.  I rarely interject my opinion or ask questions, I come off as much more shy and introverted than I actually am, simply because I cannot express myself the way that I want.  It is not usually that I don't understand or can't follow the conversation, it is mostly that I can't listen, process, think, understand then formulate an opinion or response then figure out how to say it in enough time that it is relevant to the conversation.  By the time I figure out how to say what I want to say the moment has passed.  Again, in small groups and certainly one-on-one I am fine, but groups of people are difficult.

I cannot wait for my Hebrew to continue to improve, little by little, and I can truly feel like myself and know that I am not missing out.  I love the Hebrew language and there are many times when I prefer to speak in Hebrew or say a phrase in Hebrew because it either fits the situation better or can't be said as well in English.  Also, there are a decent amount of words in Hebrew that I hardly ever say in English or don't actually know the word for in English (this happens a lot in the army).  Because of this I also feel a bit of a language barrier with those that don't know Hebrew sometimes, if I'm talking to friends/family from back home.  I use my sister as an example, her Hebrew is excellent after her year in the army and also working for a year in Hebrew.  I cannot wait to get to the other side and be able to say that I overcame the language barrier (although it will never be 100%).

Remaining hopeful, but far too often (such as the whole weekend I just spent with Israeli friends, like almost every weekend) reminded of what I'm missing, and how long the road still is ahead of me.

motivation

I'm reading the book The Happiness Project and I have written down so many quotes or points from the book so far that I love and really relate to.  It's an amazing breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively, to leave whatever office the 15+ of us soldiers that have nothing to do on base are currently sitting in, walk over to the little pond in the middle of our base, sit on a bench and read this book.  Without question I feel so much better even after just reading one page, I love to be reminded about how to keep up my happiness, it's so perfectly cheesy...so me.

Anyway this quote isn't from the book but it is one of the many that I have on a post it note on my computer desktop because it makes me happy to read it and I felt compelled to share it, finally.  It is from a speech that Amy Poehler gave at Harvard at the 2011 graduation.

"you can't do it alone. as you navigate through the rest of your life be open to collaboration, other people and other people's ideas are often better than your own. find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them and it will change your life

you never know what's around the corner, unless you peak. hold someone's hand while you do it. you'll feel less scared. you can't do this alone. besides it's much more fun to succeed and fail with other people, take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. limit your always and your nevers. continue to share your heart with people even if it's been broken. don't treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used...

when you feel scared hold someone's hand and look into their eyes and when you feel brave do the same thing you are all here because you are smart and you are brave and if you add kindness and the ability to change a tire you almost make up the perfect person."

expect many more quotes in the coming weeks, I'm feeling in the mood for cheesy quotes...

homeless less!

Yes! it is true! I, Lauren Spivack, have rented my very first apartment.  I would like to take the time now to thank BC for providing me with 4 years of housing, mom for letting me move back home after graduation, Israel for putting me up in an absorption center, Allie for letting me live with you for two months, and the Porath's, Itamar, and the Fridman's for housing me during my wandering times these past two months.  I am oh so very glad to say, however, that in a few short weeks I will be a new resident of Nachlaot, Jerusalem.
Here's a little bit about how the search went:
Allie and I spent many hours looking up apartments online, Allie continuously and diligently sent me listings with addresses, info, and numbers to set up meetings to go look.  The first weekend I was going to  go to Jerusalem to look at apartments I ended up having to stay Shabbat on my army base so I couldn't.  So I decided to take an "errand day" from the army last Thursday and spend the day apartment searching. Allie, again, searched on the internet and sent me listings of potential apartments because the apartments we had written down from the week before were already rented, as it typically goes here...quickly.  I added to the search, checking things for myself and adding a few listings to my potential list on Wednesday night.  Thursday morning I decided to check online again and saw an apartment in our price range in a really great location, the center of Jerusalem.  I decided to go to this apartment first and really, really hope that it was a winner so I didn't have to trek out of the city on the bus to look at all the other apartments on the list.  I called when I got to Jerusalem and went to the apartment first, as I had hoped.  The apartment was adorable, re-done, and in a great location, I was so excited!  I knew I had to call Allie though to double check about the location, because it wasn't the location we were looking in all along.  I had to make sure she was alright with compromising a bit on the size for the fact that it is re-done and, did I mention, in a great location?  Only problem...it was about 6am in Boston and Allie was up late getting a friend from the airport.  No fear, I knew mom would be up so I chatted with her about how I felt about the apartment and in the end we decided I really should go for it.  I sat outside the apartment as the time passed and watched potential renter after potential renter look at the apartment.  My stomach turned as I knew I didn't have much time (dramatic, huh?!)  I finally decided 8am was good enough to call and wake up Allie and I did just that.  I told her all about the apartment and the fact that it's a bit small and the second bedroom, my bedroom since I'll be in the army most of the time, is a loft, not an actual room.  She thought it was a good idea to check out a few of the other apartments on the list so I reluctantly but diligently hopped on a bus to the outer part of the city.  I meandered around a bit as I called the potential apartments to no avail.  Either I could not look at them that day, they only had one bedroom (the list "rooms" here which included living room and sometimes a kitchen or another room so you can never be too sure how many bedrooms are there), or some other funk that didn't fit with us.  Finally Allie and I decided that I need to go with the first one, it's too good to pass up and after all, it's in a great location.  I called back the realtor and signed the papers that afternoon.  All in Hebrew, all understood, all by myself :).
I signed the lease for a move-in date of November 1st hoping that the current tenant would find an apartment sooner so I could move in before the 1st.  I wasn't very optimistic as she had pretty particular desires for her apartment but alas, I received a phone call today from the current tenant that she is planning on signing for an apartment on Sunday with a move in date of October 10th!  Wah-hoo! That means I can move in to the apartment on the 10th/11th instead of the first of November!
I know, I know, it is all very too good to be true.  Whoever is crossing their fingers and praying for me out there keep up the good work, I REALLY appreciate it :)

                                                       check out our adorable kitchen!