I just got back from spending Shabbat in Shorashim, a community in the north where my sister's (and now my) "adopted family" lives. This is the second Shabbat I have spent in Shorashim since I have been here this time and I just want to take the time to make note of the difference between the two. When I went to the Morse's at the end of January it was just before my transition into starting to enjoy ulpan. I had had a few rough weeks in Jerusalem emotion wise; I was nervous about making friends, scared that a made the wrong decision moving here, and missing home. All of this showed in my interactions with people everyday but it took me a little while to see it in myself. That Shabbat at the Morse's, however, made it blatantly obvious to me that something (or a few things) were off. I was more quiet, reserved, and not as happy and easy going as I naturally am. I think it was so obvious to me at the Morse's, as opposed to in Jerusalem, because that was a place were I should have felt comfortable. I knew the family, I was with my sister, eating home cooked meals, sleeping in a real bed, etc. Since that weekend I have seen a complete turn around in the way I feel here. I have spent more time with my new friends and I am forming great relationships, I have settled into a routine and am really getting used to my life here. This weekend I found myself really excited to go to the Morse's and to see my sister for Shabbat. I was more relaxed, outgoing, and happy. Wow, what a relief :).
It's not easy to be here, that's for sure. The hardest thing for me, of course, is missing my family and friends. I miss my momma and Dani everyday, and in all honesty, I'm not sure how much that will change. I don't think about home in a nostalgic sense, as though I wish I were there, it's more as if I wish I could be here and yet still see my family and friends.
This song came on while I was on the bus home tonight and I think it describes pretty well what I am doing right now...
you gotta live to learn, you gotta crash and burn
you gotta make some stances, and take some chances
you gotta live and love, and take all life has to give
you gotta live and learn, so you can learn to live
On that note...homework then bed time so I have some energy to run 11 hilly, hilly miles tomorrow.
countdown to Tel Aviv half marathon race day: 4 weeks from yesterday.